Mat Lock
Karolina. Welcome to the podcast. It's a pleasure to have you here. If you were, maybe you could just tell our listeners or our viewers if they're on YouTube, a little bit about yourself, who you are, where you are. And yeah, looking forward to diving in.
Karolina Rzadkowolska
Thank you so much, Mat. It's such a pleasure to be here today and I'm so grateful for your time and your audience's ears. So my name is Karolina Rzadkowolska, and I'm an alcohol free life coach and author and I am based in San Diego, California. And I really had a gigantic shift in careers because I used to, you know, work a corporate nine to five type of job. And so a few years ago, I made a radical life change to ditch alcohol in my life. And it cascaded into this just miracles of some of my biggest dreams coming true, including writing a book and helping other people find the freedom they're looking for and find their bigger purpose and passion. And so that's just me in a nutshell. And I'm sure you'll have some other questions to get to know me better, but that's who I am today.
Mat Lock
No, I think we've covered it. Great. So thanks to me. Absolutely. I've got questions for you. And again, I mean, congratulation to set it just before we went live, congratulations on authoring your book, euphoric. It's as an as an author myself, I know. It's no mean feat. It's a huge undertaking, and certainly what I've had the opportunity of reading so far, it's awesome to be on. It's really engaging, great message. And the books called euphoric ditch alcohol and gain a happier, more confident use. So I'd love to know what the backstory is why, when you left corporate, this became your thing. Let's say you've sort of made sure your life is revolving around this subject. I'd love to know what the backstory is for that.
Karolina Rzadkowolska
Yeah, absolutely. You know, so, alcohol is one of those taboo topics in our society, we really hardly ever talk about it. And if we do, we're often talking about, you know, planning for a drinking getaway or some kind of drinking occasion with our friends. And then the only other time we talk about it is on the extreme level is when we're talking about alcoholism, and a and someone who hit rock bottom, and really leaving no level of awareness or conversation in the middle. And so what I have intended to do with my book, and why I share my story is because I found myself in that middle, you know, I wasn't drinking alcoholic Lee, I had a very maybe complicated relationship with alcohol that started in college. But my entire pursuit in life was always to keep it very balanced was to be as healthy as I could possibly. So I partied hard when I was pretty young. By the time I was in my mid 20s, and late 20s, I really tried to tone it down. And I considered myself a very healthy and mindful person, I basically only reserved drinking for the weekend. During the week, I would live a healthy lifestyle, I would drink my green juice, I would go to yoga classes, I would work out I would meditate. And then when the weekend came, you know, I either had social occasions on my calendar, where I was hanging out with friends, or maybe had a game night or dinner party. Or maybe it was just to relax and unwind with some Netflix and wine. And it really became this ingrained Jekyll and Hyde behavior that I had going on throughout my life. Whereas there was a part of me that was so healthy and on and productive. And yet, every weekend, I felt like it got washed away all of my efforts. And I was really beating my head against the wall. Because Monday mornings, I would just wake up feeling very low, very depressed, very anxious, and physically unwell. And I was looking around me and I was looking at what my friends were doing, what other people were doing. And by all accounts, what I was doing was normal, you know, everyone else was engaging in very similar behaviors. And yeah, I couldn't quite figure out why I wasn't able to make alcohol work in my life. Why was giving me this internal turmoil every Monday morning, and not these other people. So I thought, obviously, then, and so my intention was always okay, how can we make this smaller? How can I drink less? How can I, you know, continue to focus my goal on this ever elusive balance of moderation. And you know, sometimes I completely failed and go to a dinner party and have, you know, a zillion glasses of wine. And sometimes I totally stuck to it. And I did only have one or two. And the irony was, it didn't matter. I still woke up feeling the next day not my best self, even after a glass or two. And so it was just like, why can't I get this? Why can't I figure this out? And you know, I had to come to realize how much time and energy I was devoting to this alcohol.
The thought in my life, how much I was thinking about how much I was, you know, should I should I not, you know, really giving myself rules. You know, it was just consuming so much of my mental energy. And I had started maybe googling it or just looking for resources out there and all I could find at that time were really these these resources that obviously save lives and help a lot of people, but they were talking about, you know, people who are physically addicted to alcohol, and were drinking every day. And it just wasn't my story. And I was like, Well, if I want to be considered a normal adult, this is just what I have to do. Even though it drove me mad, even though it drove me, you know, just felt like a loss of integrity with myself and a lot of broken promises there. And, you know, it wasn't just obviously drinking. But, you know, I always wanted to be a writer, for example, and, you know, I wasn't writing the next great American novel, when I was spending my weekends drinking, and I wasn't, you know, living my healthiest lifestyle that weekend. And you know, I would snack more, or I wouldn't have the energy or motivation to workout. And it just, it just felt like it wasn't helping me be who I wanted to be. And so even though I wanted to change for years, I really didn't think I had permission to because like, again, I only, I only heard about one type of person giving up alcohol, and that type of person had a massive problem. And I didn't want to be labeled like that. But finally, I got so sick of myself. And I heard about what's called dry January, which is basically a month where people elect to take a month off of alcohol and really focus on their health. And to me, it was like the golden ticket, it was like, finally, I can take a break from alcohol, and I don't need, you know, some other excuse, or I don't need to tell people I had a problem, I can just, this is a valid choice, I can do dry January, and I did dry January, and I honestly loved it. Like I found myself, you know, playing more board games with my husband, I found myself laughing and playing more with my niece, I could journal every night and read every night, you know, I wasn't in a buzz or having any trouble sleeping. And I woke up every day feeling like high energy and just really proud of myself. And come February. I, I liked my experience, but I didn't really think you know, growing in the culture that I did, and in the habits and lifestyle of my friends, I didn't I still didn't think it was an option to just be a non drinker. And so I kind of went back to drinking in February. But the contrast of it was just so immense, you know, even one glass of wine would totally ruin my sleep totally ruined my mood. I mean, I was so I was literally euphoric in January and one glass of wine returned me feeling kind of frustrated and moody and starting little fights with my husband. And I really realized at that point that drinking is not what I thought it was at all. And so I decided to take another break at that point. And that brake turn basically into four years later where I am today. And ever since then, my life just exploded in the best possible way. I mean, not only did my physical health improve, did my mental you know, state of happiness really go up. But all of these little ambitions that I had kind of put on the side and put on the snooze button kind of came back to life and my I really regained my my passions and my sense of fulfillment and meaning, which hence switching kind of my careers and really finding more purpose in my life. It just seemed like anything was possible. At that moment. Literally, anything I've ever wanted to do that I had limiting beliefs around before finally became something that you know, if I could do this, if I could not drink for this many days, why couldn't I try that? Why couldn't I do that. And just so many things happened in that, that one year. And basically, from that experience, I was just like, This is too good. To not give to other people like this is like a gift. This is something so incredible, so amazing. They don't even know what it's like to have like a break from alcohol, this is the best thing I've ever discovered. And I basically just decided i It is my mission in life, it is my purpose now to start sharing this with others, you know, hence the book and hence my coaching practice in business because I think we we still think of, you know, alcohol and that strange binary way, it's either normal or problematic. And it really doesn't reflect most people's drinking habits, because most people over drink from the consumption levels and statistics. And so it's instead of like assigning labels, and you know, really differentiating people, why can't we just talk about alcohol in general, and really bring awareness and some light to it for all people without having to feel like only a certain type of person is allowed to quit or not. And some of the health benefits obviously, we can go into together. But, you know, I just I think a lot of times we pick this habit up when we're in college and high school, and it becomes so normalized that you could have the habit for the rest of your life without really asking yourself, Is this making me happy? Is this really serving me and where I want to go. And sometimes you don't even know until you try just a break without it to really be able to compare apples to oranges like I was able to do. So it's not like a prohibitionist stance. It's more of like, This is so great. You got to try it and see for yourself. And if you like it great. If you don't like it, you decide, you know?
Mat Lock
No, I appreciate that. Yeah. So my takeaway from what I've read and what we're talking about. Now, if you're not demonizing alcohol, that's not the point. You're shining a light in the other direction and going well actually Just imagine how amazing life can be without it. If we're operating at 70%, most of the time with alcohol in our lives, well, you know, not drinking alcohol. And these numbers are arbitrary, but, you know, they can ultimately unleash the other 30% and live a much more full life. And I actually love that message. I also love the message that you know, it wasn't the this classic sort of rock bottom story of, you know, alcoholism, and addict, Shin and maybe going through the 12 steps. And so it wasn't that at all. I mean, I think you're incredibly relatable to the majority of people, certainly in the Western world, in terms of where alcohol is just somehow, as you say, been a normal part of society really, from the get go. And for most people, myself included from even before the age you're allowed to drink, or read here, you know, having a some sort of alcohol based experience, even before it's legally allowed. And that does just ultimately, it's habit forming. And even if it's not something that an individual has a struggle with, necessarily in the in the, in terms of addiction. It's just a normal part of life. So to say, certainly, again, most Western countries, and I am, I'm going to sell it I've lived in Australia now on and off for about 20 years. And for sure, having a beer with mates is absolutely sort of part of the social fabric or has been that there's still is that there's certainly a shift towards a reduced stigma around that. But I'd be really interested to hear and I really resonated with, when he talked about sort of dry January was almost a way that you could try it without the stigma that's attached, because you said what the thing is dry January, that's what I'm doing. And it's a bit like I've been plant based for about nine or 10 years now. And even today, that still becomes such a topic of conversation. If we go out for dinner, often, what I'm going to eat becomes the topic of discussion, it's often coming from a place of love. But you know, meat free Monday, for example, is the same sort of idea as dry January, people have an hour just made for Monday. So they don't, they don't need to explain further about their rationale or why they're doing, what they're trying and so on. And I'd be really interested to hear, what are the, in your coaching practice? What are the main or most common push backs or barriers that pop up? I'd love to hear those because I suspect that most people listening to or watching this will go here. Sounds familiar? I suspect that what I'm about to experience, I'd love to hear what the main pushback. So
Karolina Rzadkowolska
yeah, I think I think you really nailed it on the head to about you know, this, this permission to just try something and just to try a new way and, and then you get to really experience life in a different way. And then you get to decide with this full state of consciousness, what you like better. And often what we're kind of pushed to do or to think about is making those choices before we've even experienced it right. And it's almost like with alcohol, especially, it's this idea that you quit forever, you know, you just go sober and you never drink again. You know, ultimately, that's what happened to me. And that's what ultimately happens to most of my clients. But it's not the way you think it's not like today I decided I'm never going to drink again. You know, today, when I first started, I was like the most like I was a baby at it, you know, like I didn't know anything, you know what I mean? And so it kind of takes the pressure off. And I like to give this one analogy. It's like, it's like you wake up, and you decide you're going to get married today, and you haven't even met the guy yet. Right? And then obviously, you're going to get cold feet, because that's crazy. You haven't even met him. And so then you take marriage off the table and you you say no thanks, you get cold feet. I'm not going to get married today. And that's what a lot of people do is that they say I want to change I want to change. But what they tell themselves they're going to change is so drastic that it just feels too overwhelming. So they just never go through with it. You know, I'm going to quit drinking, like that's, that's mammoth. That's gargantuan, right? But what about just going on the first date, you know, you don't get married? What if I just play on the first date, and you might really like him. And then you might want to go on another date. And then you might want to go on another date. And then you might be dating for four months or six months, and you still really like it. You're not sure if you want to get married yet. But hey, why not keep going with this relationship? And so that's why I think this this curiosity, this ability to really just experiment and take a break is why I really talk about it that way to really remove that kind of cold fee off the table. And you know, let your let your more evolved wise version of you choose in the future, if even it has to be a choice at all, versus the version of you today that you know really just needs to try it. I think another thing that ends up happening is socializing. Obviously like you said it's So part of the social fabric. And you know, when it comes to like saying, you know, your plant based, it's interesting, it's interesting that that still, you know, gets people talking and questioning kind of those choices. But ultimately, I think they understand like, well, this is a very healthy choice, and he's very healthy, and he's looking out for his health. Whereas with alcohol, we still, I mean, if you think about it, really not drinking alcohol is another one of the most healthy things you could possibly do for your body, brain and soul. And yet, we don't always think about it that way in our society. And so, you know, when we got socializing, instead of, instead of posing it that way, or really, you know, we get more worried about what people will think of us as if, you know, either we had a problem, or maybe now we're boring or something like that. And so socializing can be really interesting, obviously. But what I like to remember is, at least in the United States, I had to do a lot of research for my book, at least in the United States, we had this one really fascinating study that came out that said, around 52% of Americans want to drink less or not at all. So that is the majority of people here, right. And that's the ones who actually admitted it on a survey, imagine if it's a little higher, because some people weren't comfortable with that. And so I really like to remember that when you go out into that social fabric, like we don't know, the thoughts that most people have, we don't know what they struggle with, we don't know, you know, what they wish they were doing versus what they're not doing. So when you are going out and hanging out with your buddies, one, I mean, non alcoholic beer is a great option. And that's really gaining popularity in a lot of places around the world. So you can still have the same exact rituals and socializing convention, you just change the beverage in your glass, it's really not a big deal, right. But to kind of remembering that, like, you know, other people actually really want to do this other people wish they were doing this. Other people might not have the bravery or the intuition to do this. But if you you are, you're kind of become the role model. You know, instead of being the odd one out, you're kind of like the leader, you're kind of inspire. And I'm sure that can often be the case with you being plant based, like people ask questions, but it's probably because they're, they're personally a little interested or piques their own kind of curiosity. And so I think remembering that with socializing can be really key. And I think the last thing to remember is like an objection is like, we often think that alcohol is a treat. And we think of it specially when we're so busy with our modern lives, and we just do so much we're so productive, we work hard all day, we think of alcohol is the ultimate indulgence at the end of the day to just relax and comfort ourselves and have this special tree, you know, cocktail hour or whatever. And it's really not about depriving yourself to go alcohol free, as my book will show. And we can talk about a little today, I'll call actually does not physically relax, the human body actually releases cortisol in the human bodies. So it is does the opposite of relaxation to your body into your mind. And so it's not about depriving yourself and you know, taking away that's that treat. When I work with clients, it's more about like, let's find what really works, you do deserve to relax, you do deserve to rest you do to reserve to recover. You don't have to be on all the time. But let's find something that actually works. And it's, you know, often really eye opening for my clients to find that the new replacements, the new habit changes they make really, really meet the goal, the need that they have to, you know, kind of slow down and comfort themselves at the end of the day, much better than alcohol. And like I just mentioned, you know, there's so many alternatives out there that you could still have a ritual where you decompress over a drink at the end of a hard day, just change the drink. There's so many drinks out there today that you could try, whether it's alcohol, free beers or wines, they also have like soft cocktails, they also have just all these different health beverages that have really flooded the market, whether it's, you know, like reishi, mushroom tonics, or Kombucha is like there's just so many drinks out there that don't have any alcohol on them. I bet you I could spend the rest of my lifetime trying them, you know, and if that's part of the fun for you then make that the new habit, you know, and it can be really, it can be just as exciting and almost give that same placebo effect of treating yourself but none of the negative side effects.
Mat Lock
Yeah, absolutely. And the social engagement piece, I mean, certainly on a local level here we've got a couple of breweries that have popped up in recent years. And for sure, both have alcohol free options and it is cool to go on a Sunday afternoon but a live music and have a not beer as we call it. We have a knock there. And to the untrained eye, it often makes me chuckle I might have three or four not B's absolutely alcohol free but they look like B and then I jump back on my scooter and ride home and I often wonder how many people would be watching from the sidelines going Oh, that guy's had four beers. Why would he be riding his motorbike? But nice byproduct. I can ride ride the scooter after being at the brewery but for sure when it comes to the difference between relaxation and recovery. I'd love to park there Remote, because that's certainly one of the modules in a program that we run is exactly that. Because a number, you know, a number of delegates when we, when they can when they find us, we'll talk about Yeah, well, that's exactly as you described, how do they unwind at the end of a sort of big stressful day or weekend it's collapse on the couch, have a beer or a glass of wine. So we're not talking about writing themselves off here, just having a beer or a glass of wine, and turning on whichever Netflix or whatever, it's going to be Hulu, depending where you're on the world, which is the polar opposite of recovery, of course. And if they're looking for, I know that we share the idea of sort of unleashing people's full potential and peak performance. slumming it in front of the TV, which I am guilty of, from time to time, albeit not with a beard. That's the opposite of recovery. And so we talk about installing an active recovery protocol into the weekly schedule, which then means there are daily components to that which can of course be anything from saunas, to ice baths to yoga, to guided meditation, to breathing techniques, whatever it's going to be, I'd love to hear your thoughts around that in terms of how you, I guess, ultimately help as we do help create new lifestyle behaviors that serve the individual rather than causing at the end of the day at some level suffering. I'd love to hear your thoughts around that.
Karolina Rzadkowolska
Yeah, absolutely. And I love that word, just so you know, I on that, because it's just, you know, even personally, like I stopped drinking four years ago, but the TV can be such another normalized just plonk down, like you said, turn it on. And I'm in a really busy season in my life right now. And I was noticing, like, Hey, I'm watching TV, like, almost every night, what is what's going on with this, you know, and I didn't like it at all. And I decided a little over a month ago, like I needed any cut this out, you know, and for me, personally, it's easier to do something not at all than to do less of it, right. It's just a clear rule, you know, I'm just not watching TV. And you can't, I can't tell you how much more peace calm I feel how much more relaxed, I feel how much more time I have to do things that actually relax me and recover me. And it's so funny, because it's, it's, uh, you know, like you said, a wine and TV is like what we think is the height of a relaxing night. And it's just, it's not true for the neuroscience of our brain, right. And I'll go into the alcohol, but not the TV. But but you know, for alcohol, what we really think looking for is sometimes a way to be able to turn off some of the like ruminating thoughts or the constant use in our mind. And we do often like to increase some of those happiness neurotransmitters in our brain. And alcohol can be really deceptive, because it does numb the brain, it actually slows down your brain cells to the point of almost killing them off. And so people obviously can get that distraction that they're looking for, you know, like all of a sudden, that deadline you have with your boss is the last thing you're thinking about when you're drinking. So it does kind of don't do that. But it's it's almost like I said, it's numbing, it's not actually relieving it, it's like putting yourself in a little mini coma for the night, right. And same thing with some of the happiness neurotransmitters we love, like alcohol does increase the release of dopamine in the brain. But what happens is, it's this very artificial spike that lasts usually around 20 minutes, and then it crashes. And then the level of dopamine after that is actually much lower than when you started out before you drink. And in addition to that crash, you also have the body releasing stress hormones on top of that. So your body releases cortisol and adrenaline and dine orphan which is kind of like the opposite of endorphins. So it really makes you feel low and exhausted and sluggish. So it's this huge crash that you get, you know, and I like to tell my clients, drinking isn't a 20 minute buzz, it's a 48 hour experience, right, then, like all that stuff is is really the effects you feel for days, if not even weeks, sometimes afterwards, right. And so, when we look at new recovery activities, I like to like really help a client with a toolbox, you know, so everyone I think is a little unique with what they will find works best for them. So just like you mentioned, all of those ideas are wonderful, like you know, the sauna, the meditating yin yoga, you know, working out maybe going on a walk, watching the sunset, all these just different things, grounding, maybe outside in nature being around the forest, so many cool, different ideas. And then we'll experiment with what actually works with them. So they get to try you know, different different activities and see what they like and see what really works for them. And I like to think of it as really you know, from alcohol, what were you looking to get what what is the feeling you were hoping to get from alcohol. And sometimes we can recreate that feeling. And it could be different in different scenarios. But for example, sometimes we want to feel that dopamine rush and dopamine isn't just a happiness neurotransmitter. It really helps us with our motivation and our desire and our wanting. And dopamine is also released. Obviously anytime something's you know, crucial for our survival. But also when we are challenging ourselves when we do have some kind of adventure or thrill or we're doing a new activity we've never done before. And what a healthy way to express dopamine in your life instead of the like the sugar, the alcohol. What What about really thinking of like, when I want to feel dopamine, that's, that's because I want to be feel challenged or have a new adventure or experience in my life. And actually cultivating that by doing new things, having new experiences, trying, you know, different things out, maybe going on a new hike in your town or relearning something like a new language or anything, you know, anything slightly different than what you've done before. When it comes to maybe like oxytocin to like, what sometimes we drink, because we feel like gives us this bond with people. It's this, okay, I want to go out with my buddies and have a good time, we're really looking for connection, right? Often alcohol does the opposite, because everyone gets into these really shallow, repetitive conversations, no one has presence, you know. And so when you want to feel that it's that level of connection, like how can you recreate that again, in a healthier way. And there's so many things that you could do even just at the end of a day to elicit that, that that, to have that oxytocin come flooding your system, whether it's hugging someone for 20 seconds, you know, writing someone a text, that really helps you feel like you're supporting their life and sharing gratitudes. So I kind of like to play around with like, you know, our bodies and our minds are capable of creating their own natural buzzes truly, right. And we kind of go the fast route, we kind of, we like to do the stuff that's our more artificial for ourselves. But I think it's really brilliant to get into experimentation, roll and try out these different activities, or these different ideas to really feel the way we want to feel and be an active participant in it. Not just having fireworks go off in your brain because you you injected, you know, liquid drug into your veins, but you're actually creating that feeling yourself. And it's it's such a difference that the world that makes you know, when you are an active creator, I think, in creating your own joy in your own adventure, in your own sense of connection, in your own sense of calm and your own sense of peace. You know what I mean? Nothing outside of you will ever do that for you?
Mat Lock
No, absolutely. And I'm really interested to know, but you know, in anticipation of our conversation today, you know, I've mentioned to the team or to some friend John is going to be chatting with you and your WhatsApp. As soon as I talk about living an alcohol free life, immediately the flop, you know, will walk out and no alcohol. Geez, why would you do that? Oh, I can't imagine that. Some of that's joking. It's just I get it. But some of it isn't. I think for some people, it's really confronting, because it's so sort of part of the fabric of the life that they've known. And I'd be really interested, how do you help people overcome that that initial pushback, that initial sort of not rejection, pushback, because it feels almost overwhelming, or that maybe they don't want to be that person, you know, like, I've been that person for quite some time, I'm not alone anymore.
And suddenly, being plant based, is much more common these days. And to speak to, as you said earlier, interestingly, within my circle of friends, who have remained constant throughout, so it's not that I've just got new friends. Now, that all happened to client based, for sure. So many people I know in my life who have been there as a constant or long are now either plan based or a much more aware of what they even have reduced, perhaps their meat intake or a bit dairy, that kind of stuff. You know, that whole lead by example, which is, you know, the title of my book, but that's, I think, an example of why that resonates with me, I'd be really interested to know how you help people overcome handle deal with that, that sense of that inherent sense of pushback that they might feel?
Karolina Rzadkowolska
Yeah, that's a great question. And I think, you know, we have a lot of limiting beliefs when it comes to alcohol and or an alcohol free life. And some of these are very cultural. Some of these are very, you know, conditioned on us since we were young. And some of them are also you know, things that we have kind of ingrained into our own psyches through through experience and through repetition. And so for me, personally, you know, not meet me 10 years ago and asked me to go alcohol free. I think my first you know, other than a lot of the things we've already talked about, like you know, people are gonna think I have a problem, all this kind of stuff. One of the initial things I would think of is like, I'm not gonna have fun anymore, I'm gonna be boring. You know, like, My life won't be fun. And that can be a very natural kind of knee jerk reaction because I think we've for so long associated alcohol is fun. And the alcohol industry makes $252 billion a year by associating alcohol with fun and a good sort. Life and being an interesting, sophisticated person. And, you know, when you look at that belief, it's very innocuous. Yeah, a couple of drinks makes me more fun, or I have more fun when I'm drinking. You know, for me, for example, I used to say that a happy hour or like a beer tasting or something like that was a 10. For me, leaving stargazing or gorgeous hike as a five, right, because alcohol really distorts your, your, those neurotransmitters we're talking about. So they're this artificial release, right? And the it's like the normal, yet beautiful moments of life just can't compete. And so when you remove that out of your life, what ends up happening is all those neurotransmitters I was talking about, you know, alcohol does release dopamine, but it actually then lowers your levels. And so drinkers all have lower levels of dopamine, serotonin, and GABA, just naturally, and then all their stress hormones are elevated just like mine were. And so when you take a break from alcohol, all of that can actually rebalance in your life. And so dopamine, serotonin, GABA go up, and then the stress hormones aren't being, you know, pumped out as often. And so that's why the book is called euphoric. That's why that's what my business and my brand is, because I did not expect such a surge of positive feelings do follow me. It was like I was falling in love again, when I took a break from alcohol, I felt happier. And like I was having more fun than I ever had in my life. And I had to think about it, you know, like, before the age of 16, or whatever it was, I used to have a lot of fun without drinking. I used to go to sleepovers and ice skating and climb trees and ride bikes and put on plays I used to do so much, right? We all did as kids. So why did we come to believe that, like, alcohol makes our life more fun and more, you know, interesting. And I had to kind of take some of these beliefs that I had around alcohol because I didn't just go from night and day, one day, I really had to take some of those limiting assumptions that I had these these kind of neuro sociated beliefs that I had around alcohol, what it meant for my life, and really, debunk them really prove that some of these are not helpful beliefs that are holding me back in this relationship. So for example, this idea that alcohol is fun, sounds innocent, sounds normal sounds common. The corona commercials shows us this all the time. What if I said the complete opposite of that statement, or the converse of that statement, life without alcohol is not fun. Now that not that says something different kind of completely, that kind of really goes into the heart or something a little different life without alcohol, it can't be fun. And you know, I think about this beautiful world we live in with this, just this ability to travel and to experience new things and to meet new people. And the likelihood we'd all be here at this point in time is like one in 14 trillion. And whatever created us like this life was not meant to be experienced in its richness without this chemical flowing in our veins. Like it makes no sense, right? Life is exhilarating. Without alcohol, you have to make it that way. And you have to make an effort to find what organically gives you joy. Because alcohol is like the most passive thing you can do, you know, it's like putting a, a node on a rat's brain and then pushing a lever of obviously, it's gonna like it's gonna lecture the the pleasure center in the rat's brain. But that's not real joy. That's not real fun. That's not real pleasure, those none of those things. And so I personally had to kind of debunk that idea myself that life without alcohol is boring or not fun. And I proved the total opposite. You know, like, I enjoyed myself so much more today. And I'd have so many more wild and new and different experiences in my life than I ever had. Because all alcohol was was monotony. For me. It was the same thing every weekend, right? You know, like, we think it's different, but it's the same. It's the same wedding with drinking, and it's the same brewery tasting and it's the same game night. That's the most monotonous experience ever. And now I have really pure adventure and just new experiences all the time. And, you know, my clients find the same thing happens to them. They're they're kind of neurochemicals rebalanced, and they're just like, wow, like, a walk in the woods, or watching a sunset or playing with the child suddenly become the most profound moments in their lives when before that stuff just didn't register on their brain. And that's really the effect of taking out that depressant out of your out of your system will really rebalance that brain in that way. So it's almost like its own ecstasy. You know what I mean? Like living alcohol free, people might shrug at it or might feel like, I don't know if I want to do that. But you don't even they don't know you don't know until you try it. It's its own version of ecstasy. And it might be way more exhilarating than anything that you know, with alcohol that you've tried. So that can be maybe a little helpful for anyone kind of on the edge and, and like I said earlier, it's all about experimentation. You know, it's not black and white. It's not forever it's not you know, something you have to you have to claim to do for the rest of your life. If you don't ever give yourself a chance to try it. You'll just never know which version of fun you like better the one that you create or the one that passively happens to you.
Mat Lock
Yeah, Absolutely perfect. I look I'm conscious, we're kind of coming up on time a little bit I. But I think your experience in terms of your relationship with alcohol that led you to take this journey, I suspect there are hundreds of millions of people in the same boat, to be honest. And I love that you you've given it a name, it's a name that I wouldn't have come up with. But you talk about it being people who are sober, curious. And I'm sure there are people who will be listening to this who, what you're saying makes sense. It resonates. They get it, they can easily imagine that your experience because they have had those same emotions. And even if those who haven't maybe have stopped and thought about it during this conversation, and realize that, why do I have that glass of wine or that deal? Well, actually, why do I drink alcohol? You know, it's such a reflective, wonderful question. But the whole idea of someone being sober, curious, where would they go with that? So now there's a curiosity, where can they go? And I know that, you know, this is what you do for a living. So talk us through if someone so be curious, where should they start?
Karolina Rzadkowolska
Absolutely. So it's going to be with experience experimentation, like I said earlier, but it's also going to come with a complete kind of reframe of the things that you've, you've thought you knew or thought about alcohol. And that's where a lot of guidance can come in. And, and I, you know, I wrote this book euphoric touch alcohol and gain a happier, more confident you, basically, for someone like this, who is sober, curious. And the way that I kind of structured the book was to give someone a really compelling why, like, why would they want to take a break from alcohol, and I talk all about having incredible physical benefits, you know, personally, my cholesterol went down by 51 points. And I'm not an anomaly. So they studied that even five weeks off alcohol, the average participant will lose 20 Points off their cholesterol, most drugs can't do that, you know, like, that's just phenomenal stuff. But your health gets better your energy levels, your sleep. But then there's a lot of mindset things, you know, my self worth, my self love and myself esteem have gone up so much higher because of this choice that I made. And it's also really deep and connections with the things that mattered most to me in the world. My sense of gratitude, my sense of connection, my sense of purpose as well. I really found that before, I was drinking every weekend, because that was the best thing I had to look forward to. And I had to ask myself, why is that, and I didn't recognize that I was unfulfilled in my career, I wasn't really living my fullest potential. And what I wanted to do, I kind of just found something that was, you know, good enough and paid the bills and the good status quo. But I had these dreams that I was just snoozing on. And I really didn't believe were possible for me anymore. And so taking a break from alcohol, really gave me the confidence to go after those things and answer that question, like, what really fulfills me what am I really passionate about what gives me a sense of purpose, because when you find that, I mean, a glass of wine really just can't compare to something like that. That's what we're all looking for is that sense of aliveness? You know, and helping my clients really discover that is what I'm so passionate about. It's not, I don't care what people drink. At the end of the day, it's not about a drink, you know, it's about finding something that really makes you happy. You know, that's just so much more profound and fulfilling than alcohol. And so in my book, I go over all these different topics about why you know, someone should take a break, and just make it so juicy, so ripe with possibility that you just can't wait to do it. And then I give someone that guide a plan to take eight weeks off of alcohol. And so they're not just committing to, you know, the habit change, they're not just committing to like, Okay, I just won't drink for eight weeks. Because often when you change a habit like that you're really leaving behind this vacuum of deprivation, because we still live in a society that conditioned us to believe that alcohol is fun to believe that alcohol is the glue you need for socializing. And so there's all this conditioning we have in the right brain that almost has to be deprogrammed and have a lot of different mindset shifts, because ultimately, I want to teach my clients to lose their desires for alcohol so that it becomes something that doesn't cross their mind that they don't care about that is just a non issue in their lives, that they are taking their beautiful mental time and energy in their brain on so much more compelling things in their life versus a drink, right? I mean, if we think about it arbitrarily, like alcohol is just a drink in a cup. And we put so much weight on it, and we put so much importance on it. And yet, there's so many, far better things right to do with that. And so in the eight week plan, someone will will take that break from alcohol, but they're also go through all these different mindset shifts and reflections to really tease out what beliefs they had come to believe about why alcohol serves them or gives them benefits and really actually see if any of those are true. If they're if they're false beliefs that they've kind of, you know, grown accustomed to, or have this new experiencing experience proving them wrong, you know, like for example, I thought I needed alcohol to socialize And I've completely debunked that, you know, alcohol at the end of the day made me super insecure. And so I've kind of, you know, took all the reasons why I used to like to drink and put them through this filter of, you know, is it true? Does it? Is it true for everyone? Is this like a law of gravity that the world is more fun because of alcohol? I mean, absolutely not. Right. And so this eight week plan will help someone, again, not only with the mindset shifts, and taking a break from alcohol, but then as you give that space, as your mind gets decluttered, from these old beliefs, and this old programming that we've all gotten, it leaves space behind for something new. And that's where your new passions, your new pursuits, and your new projects come in, and really helping someone discover, what, what do I want most in life? What do I want to do? What do I want to be? What do I want to have? How do I take care of myself? And those deeper questions really can help them completely shift into a new chapter in life, they're really feeling fulfilled, and really discovering, you know, again, what they want to do, and how they want to be in this world. Because when you can position like dreamiest life here on one hand, where you know, someone's really fulfilled and going after what they want, versus a drink at the end of the day, I mean, what are we going to choose, right? And I think that really helping yourself, uncover those deeper passions can be a really beautiful part of the process. And for example, I have clients who will pick up the most random yet inspiring hobbies, and they had no idea they were interested in stuff like that, whether it's pottery classes, aerial yoga, boxing, wind surfing, and then some have taken it further and made it their livelihoods. You know, launching businesses becoming coaches themselves writing books. So it really is, to me, it's like, the secret, fastest way to your biggest dreams, because you're uncovering who you are what you really want. And each time you sit through the end of the day, without drinking, you're allowing yourself to really process and learn from all of your emotions instead of covering them up and drinking over them. So it's a highly intuitive process as well, that will help you get to know yourself better than you ever have before, which then leads to all those cool little victories that I mentioned. So that's kind of a found in my book there. And
Mat Lock
yeah, no, absolutely. And a lot of that resonates with me personally. And I know there's a growing movement of people who are going down the path of choosing to drink non alcoholic beverages, and just generally reducing any way that the increasing the amount of social interactions that don't involve the pub or the brewery or that they have their place, I think for some people, but nonetheless, nonetheless, there's a shift without question. And for those who think that eight weeks too much can't do it, that's too much. I know that you were you do give them some options, right? You can go for I'll try a month, then. Or even five days. I mean, I would contest certainly with any of our delegates, when times is all, you know, a month without alcohol, or immediately Well, hang on, if that's even a thing. If you're actually confronted by the idea of no alcohol for four weeks, that immediately should be a flag for yourself that hang on, what is my relationship with this thing that in this case? is alcohol? Because yeah, I mean, clearly, if it's playing that bigger role in your life, you're attaching them at that much value to it. Then, by default, that further invitation for me that it needs more careful consideration, and probably some sort of change around it. But certainly, I know on your website, you talked about there being a tribe for a month, had to take a month off and feel amazing. In fact, I just read that on your page, but to remind myself who it was, but you've got options there. Right. So if someone's just totally confronted by eight weeks been too much, then there are some more, let's say bite sized pieces available.
Karolina Rzadkowolska
Oh, absolutely. Yeah. So I have another small course that's five days only right and five days. Obviously, the intent would be to try not to drink for those five days. But that's not really necessarily always the point. Sometimes we make much bigger shifts in our mindset first before we make them with our habits. So knowledge really just leaning in allowing yourself to have this reflective experience and asking yourself these questions, which you can find I have a course called the five day restart and obviously you can find in my book as well. Just allowing yourself to learn more about it can be really eye opening. And you know, even listening to podcasts like this, you know my podcast is called euphoric the podcast. This is a topic I talk about, you know, every week, allowing yourself to just even have some of the mindset shifts before you have the behavior shifts. Because you're so spot on, you know, if you would have approached me 10 years ago, I would have not touched you with a 10 foot pole about this lifestyle. But I slowly got into it, even though I took a break that was very abrupt and then changed my life. You don't know how Many years I had wanted to do a break. And you don't know how many times I had tried other kinds of experiments with alcohol, for example, I used to the year before I took my break from alcohol, I would commit to taking a weekend off. So I would commit to taking a whole seven days off every month. And to me, it was such a reflective reflexive thing to drink every single weekend. So I remember the first few times I wasn't drinking during the weekend, like that was a new is like a muscle I never worked out, you know. And so I think there are definitely baby steps to take in. And first of all, the first one you could do is just knowledge is just allowing yourself, Okay, why don't I just read this book, I don't even have to do the eight week plan, I'll just read the book, you know, if you want to grab euphoric the book, the five day restart is another great one. So you could just do a five day break or and or help, you know, go through the mindset kind of reflective questions to get your brain starting to churn. So anywhere, anywhere you can start even replacing one of your drinks with a non alcoholic beer could be a cool kind of experiment for someone you know. So there's no wrong or right way. I think just as long as you lean in and don't skirt it and don't kind of push this issue under a rug. I think it's really healthy.
Mat Lock
It's a different level of consciousness, isn't it? Actually, it made me think of many moons ago, I used to be a smoker. And I remember reading a book called The easy way to stop smoking. by Alan Carr, I think it was very successful for millions of people have stopped smoking on the back of reading that book. And one of the things that really intrigued me the quite early on in the book, it says, Look, if you're still smoking at the point to starting to read this book, don't stop, like just keep smoking as normal. Because you're not ready yet. You don't have the information you need to stop smoking, just have confidence, knowing that by the end of the book, you'll stop smoking. But it was really interesting that they're absolutely not yet equipped, don't have the knowledge, necessarily to stop smoking. Yeah, really interesting. That really stuck with me. And it wasn't lost on me the blue mind games that were being played even in that statement, but nonetheless, very powerful. And the same is true here. If if nothing else, read the book. And do it if you must with a beer in your hand or a glass of wine, but read the book. And then approach you're at least you're approaching it from a whole different level of consciousness and with a lot more information up your sleeve. So brilliant advice. Carolyn, I'm conscious of time. Is there anything else you'd like to add at this stage before we close this session off?
Karolina Rzadkowolska
Yeah, absolutely. I'm just so grateful for you as a host and your listeners for being open to this topic. And I have a special gift just for your listeners. So if you're interested in pre ordering the book, we have a special gift that's just available to you. So when you preorder, you can get a free 31 day guide. And this guide is just a beautiful guide to how's your reflections to prompt you to teach you a few new things. And to be really creative in that space. It's called your best month yet. And it just again, even if you're drinking throughout that month, you could really start using those reflections to you really deepening your understanding of what you want and what you're looking for. So it's called your best month yet and you can get it at euphoric book.com/gift. And we also have a lot of other cool goodies for you, including a mocktail recipe ebook, you know, to give you new ideas of different drinks to try along with a checklist of 50 things to do instead of drinking. Because, you know, for me, boredom, and fun, were often really wrapped up in my relationship with alcohol thinking I'd be bored without it. And so just fun little things like that, as well as the training on how to change some of those deep set mindset beliefs around alcohol, and how to socialize without it. Because obviously, I think that's one of the bigger things that we get hung up on is like, Wait, how am I am I supposed to go out and socialize still with my friends without alcohol. So those are all available euphoric books, calm slash gifts. And I would just be so honored if if this piqued your interest to just like Matt was saying to just dive a little deeper, learn a little bit more, see how you feel about it, learn a little bit more information. And if anything, you'll be a better resource to for anyone else that's, that's going through this. I think we're having a wellness revolution in this area. And I think it's really going to be a point of conversation for the next decade and on and on, because we value health and consciousness so much more today than we ever have. And I think this is really part of that as well. And so it can be it can be really liberating to already kind of know some of the things about this topic versus not so
Mat Lock
absolutely. There is no downside. Only upside. M Kenneth, thank you so much. And ultimately, there you have it. Thanks very much for listening. And if you've enjoyed this, please go ahead and leave us a review on whichever platform you're using. It really does help more You know, and if you're interested in grabbing a copy of my book lead by example, which talks about how you can unleash your potential at work and in life, I would love to send you a copy. So if you go to the impact project that IO and take a dive down that rabbit hole, it'll be on your doorstep in no time. My thanks again to Carolyn, our guest today, we'll be posting all of the various links to her book euphoric and her website and the gifts and everything else in the show notes. So until next time, be brave, have fun and make yourself busy having an impact on the world.
