Mat Lock
Hi, Sarah, welcome to the podcast. It's a pleasure to have you here. We think it might be a nice introduction if maybe you could just share a little bit about maybe where in the world you are and what it is that you're all about.
Sarah Connelly
Hi, yeah, it's lovely to be here. I'm Sarah Connolly. I'm originally from the UK, but I'm currently in Brisbane in Australia. But I've been here for six years, and in Australia for 22 years now.
Mat Lock
Are you in on 20? You've got two years on me.
Sarah Connelly
I was just in time for the 2000 Fireworks. Just
Mat Lock
fantastic. It's an easy way of remembering as well. Exactly. That Sarah, you're an HSP H hispi. Okay, that makes HPC because it's HSPC. coach, speaker, and educator, high sensitive person, coach, speaker and educator specializing in alcohol free living given I've just stumbled over it several times, I think it's quite natural that we start by explaining what an HSP is actually,
Sarah Connelly
of course, so is, as you say, a highly sensitive person. And it is a trait that's been identified in 20% of the population, and also across 100 Different species around the world, including dogs. So there's been a lot of research done into HSPs and what it means to be one, and essentially, so Elaine, Aaron, Dr. Elaine Aaron originated the whole idea and then did most of the research behind it. And she came up with the acronym does D E S, which summarizes what highly sensitive people are what the traits are. So the first one is depth of processing. So as highly sensitive people, we if you'd like to keep it simple, we're big thinkers, we overthink, we look at everything we're analysts, we really dive into details, we think things through a huge amount. But and what that ends up with is being is very intuitive over time, because we really do set up our systems to recognize situations from every angle. And then when those situations arise again, our intuition will lead us to make decisions. So we process information very deeply, more so than 80% of the population. The O is for overstimulation. Now, this is the one that most people first identify when they think about being HSP. So if you are bothered by loud noises, if you walk into a restaurant, and there's people talking and drinking and cutlery, and you feel overstimulated, that is a real HSP trait. And I don't just mean slightly bothered by it, I mean, like it really does put you on edge. Even things like a ticking clock, when you're going to bed see I cannot sleep in a room if there's any noise ticking clocks, and it's that kind of rhythmic noise, I have to remove it from the room. So we get very overstimulated, which means we can be quite cranky. If we don't know this about ourselves, and we don't manage it. Because we constantly feeling like we're in fight flight freeze, we're constantly frazzled. The third one, he is emotional, and empathy. So we are very sensitive to other people's emotions, and feelings. And we can tell sometimes we can feel them. So you'll often find HSPs be highly emotional, watching even movies and things like that we get really deeply involved and engaged with things. Also with art with music, often HSPs have an ear for music, because they can tell where the music is going to go because they're so engaged with it all on their senses are on high alert. And the last thing is sensing the subtle. So if I'm talking to you, and I notice, I'll start to notice that all changes in your expression in your face. And I will make a meaning from that. And I will respond to that. So HSPs are often very good at jobs, such as counselors and coaches and psychologists, because they have that really deep awareness of the other people around them unable to sense those subtleties, not just in what people see, but also how people speak and the words that they use. So overall, you know, it's a trait that survived. So it's a necessary trait for our society and for culture, but it is in minority. So HSPs will struggle in the modern world, because it isn't designed. It's designed by 80% of the population that don't have that sense of overstimulation, which is why I think many of us turn to alcohol and other substances to calm us down.
Mat Lock
Yeah, sure. I mean, it sounds like it could be a blessing and a curse all in one. Because I imagine it's exhausting. But the overstimulation being on high alert. Yes, as you say, in terms of being able to show empathy, how that can feed into your emotions, and then how that feeds into coaching or I assume interacting with family members, friends, or anyone really, that you interact with? So is that a fair way of looking at it? If I missed Mr. Point?
Sarah Connelly
No, I think it's the perfect way to look at it is absolutely a blessing. And it can be a curse if it's not managed. And so as a collective with HSPs, with trying to educate people, to acknowledge that this is a trait, as opposed to us just being too sensitive, which is what we've been told, growing up, you know, You're too sensitive, get on with it. What are you worried about? This is a physiological thing, too. It's not just a cognitive thing. Forget our amygdala, which is the fight flight freeze center of the brain is larger in HSPs, which means that it's more activated. So it does mean that we're a lot more alert and a lot more stimulated by life. As far as the blessing side goes, if it's managed successfully, you often find that HSPs will thrive way more than the average person if they're given the right environment. And I equate it to the orchid dandelion theory, which to me is fascinating, where they've identified that we have dandelion children, and we have all good children, and the orchid children will wilt and die given the wrong environment. But if they're given the right environment, they will really thrive and become beautiful. And dandelions can grow anywhere. They're Hardy little flowers they do. They can grow through the cracks in the pavement or in the garden. So
Mat Lock
yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Now, you mentioned that HSPs, therefore, have a tendency to create dependencies on or have other outlets such as alcohol, for example, I assume there are others. And that's some sort of, I guess, escape jury during a period where perhaps you don't understand or recognize what it is the traits that you have. And therefore it presents itself in in other ways, which lead to, I guess, taking a path of less desirable behaviors, maybe that with alcohol and the other, so I'm interested to hear how that how that was for you, and what what the journey has been for you. And I know that I know that involves your father as well. And yeah, I appreciate your sharing. But it's appreciate you being as candid, as I know you will be.
Sarah Connelly
Thank you. Yes, it's definitely been a learning. Time for me. I didn't know I was hoping to see until quite recently. So looking back now realizing that not only am I an HSE, my dad for sure was to and my dad was also somebody that relied a lot on alcohol, particularly in his earlier years. And to your point, I think we are more likely to seek relief in certain substances, then other people are because of that sense of constantly being stressed or on high alert if we're not knowing how to manage it, which definitely was the case of my dad. So I kind of my alcohol consumption escalated dramatically, as my father's health declined. He was given a very, very short prognosis in 2019. And I got to travel backwards and forwards at the time it was before COVID to spend time with him in his final months. So if you think about it, there's me as an HSP, sensory overload, grief traveling 24 hour flights exhausted. It was just a recipe for disaster really, and alcohol on tap, no children, no husband to answer to and just given free rein and dealing with my father. And so I started to really rely on alcohol to numb everything that was going on. mean time. That's not to say I wasn't misusing it before that. But my understanding of alcohol misuse has changed quite a lot since I realized now that now I know so much more about what alcohol does to us. You know, I was drinking like everybody else. Now, to me that's excessive, excessive alcohol consumption. But back then it was like, of course, we drink half a bottle a bottle of wine a night, you know, that's normal. So it got
to countries like the UK, and like Australia, and efficiently drinking is somehow part of the fabric. Part. Thankfully, I think that's changing, as we'll touch on today. But anyway, sorry. I interrupt.
No, no, you're absolutely right. And I think that's part of it, too, you know, you think that it's normal. And I thought that drinking that much was normal, but I knew that it wasn't, I knew that it affected me a lot more than others, like, I would wake up and I'd feel terrible, you know, with the worst depression anxiety that other people didn't seem to suffer from as much. So I always knew that alcohol and me were a bad combination. I just didn't quite know how to extract myself because it was everywhere. Was it? Everybody did?
Mat Lock
Do you think alcohol sort of magnified the effects of HSP? Or is it simply that magnified other natural traits that you had that were not necessarily related to HSP?
Sarah Connelly
I think alcohol I know, alcohol amplifies everything negative about us as humans, you know, it depletes all the things that we need to survive and be happy, serotonin, GABA, all of our neurotransmitters are affected. So as an HSP, I think it's more likely to affect us in that sense of dependency, because it's so quick. And it's a real, you know, we get that real reward from it. Because it's like, you know, that glass of wine that you have, at the end of the day, kind of that's on steroids for us. And as far as you know, make affecting things like depression, anxiety, there's no doubt. And then if you add into the mix, the fact that I was a woman going into her mid, her late 40s, and that hormone cocktail, that happens, then it is really it's a it's a tsunami. But yeah,
Mat Lock
absolutely. So in 2019, your father, you were traveling back and forth to the UK? I think he passed in 2019. Is that right?
Sarah Connelly
Yeah, so my dad, and I had some great times together before he passed away. And then he he died in June 2019. And I was with him at the time. And I did have one of those sort of pivotal epiphany moments where I really did feel like I did not want to die with any sense of regret that I hadn't lived my best life. And that moment was really pivotal in my decision to stop drinking. Because I knew that it was holding me back. I knew it was preventing me from being the person that I knew I was capable of being.
Mat Lock
So you what you weren't. What I think society would say today's you weren't an alcoholic. It wasn't that you needed to go into months of rehab or go to Alcoholics Anonymous, per se. But that drinking was making itself more and more present in your life. And you understood that. That wasn't at the end of the day, that that's not the path you want to figure it out. It was reducing performance, reducing quality of life.
Sarah Connelly
Correct. And it was really obvious to me, but not so much to anyone else around me if you'd asked anyone else did I have a drinking problem? They would have said, What do you mean, you don't drink any more or less than I do?
Mat Lock
Yes, you drink enough.
Sarah Connelly
Yes, that's right. But the interesting piece and you know, you raise the rehab was that I didn't know how to get help, because I wasn't bad enough. And I didn't relate to AA and their model. And at the time, there really wasn't anything else. And my GP said do two weeks in the rehab program. And I was like, Whoa, that's you know, that's too much, but I didn't know what else to do. Feel really confronting because I felt a lot of shame. You know, going in there I really felt shameful. I felt Like I was weak. And I felt like I didn't belong when I was there. And so it was a really interesting time from a getting to know myself in there. As somebody who, you know, the fact that I'm meeting other people in there like me, not all of them but many, and learning that alcohol doesn't discriminate against anyone, no matter who you are. And it takes a huge amount of courage for people to get help. And it's not always the kind of help that you really want at that juncture in your life.
Mat Lock
So if I imagine that feeling, a sense of shame in that situation, I imagined I would feel exactly the emotions you described, there's a certain stigma attached to it. If you need rehab, in societies that we live in, there's a stigma attached, which hopefully is lessening. And I'm glad you made the point. Because it's funny, isn't it? Because we, I would say this, I would probably think the same to myself as our our weaker mind and needing to go into rehab. But it's the opposite is true. It is incredibly, the amount of courage it would take would be incredible. But out of interest, I mean, what is two weeks in? I mean, it's it's not it's not full. It's not a full rehab clinic is like the Betty Ford Clinic concern I imagined.
Sarah Connelly
It was pretty full on when you arrived, you had the full body search and bags. But it was all in but the majority of people that go in there are there for reasons that are not necessarily choice. As an example, it might be a court requirement, or it may you know that they're not necessarily there of their own free will. But for me, it wasn't like a halfway house. It was really rehab for two weeks. No, it was, you know, blood tests and breathalyzers and signing in and out. Yeah, I mean, it was nice in the sense that I had my own, you know, I have my room. And, you know, we we got fed, I didn't have to cook for two. And the education was was amazing for me, because my brain was able to absorb what I learned in there. Whereas there were a lot of people in there, you could see they just didn't have, they just weren't there yet to really be able to learn what they were being taught. And that was the shame bit and many of them were back 345 times. Some of them more most thing like an annual holiday that they would go into their their two weeks, and they got to go shopping Brisbane City
Mat Lock
out of interest. Most reaction from your family and friends who probably didn't perceive you had any sort of problem with alcohol.
Sarah Connelly
I've, I had to be very explicit with people and very honest. And it was really hard. Because you know, I didn't want to say, I didn't have a problem, because I believe I had a problem for me. And that was what I always would say to them if they wanted to benchmark or how much were you drinking? You know, that's the question that people want. They want to know the answer. It's like, what it was too much for me. It doesn't matter how much it is. And that's the message that I always say to people is you don't have to, there's no line in the sand. If it's too much for you, it doesn't matter how much is my husband already knew bless him and had been really supportive. Whereas nobody else knew and I didn't tell people for a while to be honest, I didn't kind of make some big announcement until I'd come out and my family my parents have both passed away so that they weren't there to tell. And then my husband's family in Sydney. But you know, I really learned to be very intuitive, more intuitive about how I shared what I shared when I shared it for two reasons, one for me and my boundaries and two because many of the people that I shared it with could probably and have themselves you know, identified as having an issue with alcohol so so um,
Mat Lock
so at the end of the two weeks that I'm in the boudoir I guess the beginning of those two weeks signal the end of you drinking forever.
Sarah Connelly
Yes, well, forever. is a long time. But I left after the two weeks and I decided I would do three months. After three months, I decided I'd do three more. And I had this kind of if I could just not drink for a year, that would be incredible. And I didn't imagine in my wildest dreams that I could not drink for a whole year. And it got to a year and by then you've done everything sober, then you realize that actually, it's pretty bloody good. Not feeling like crap, a lot of the time. And you start to get to know yourself better and enjoy life on your terms. And so after the year, I was, why would I there was no reason for it anymore. I'd learn all the tools to deal with my HSP trait and just being human, which is hard. And I'm still learning, I'm still learning who I am. Because for 20 years of my life I was drinking.
Mat Lock
Yeah, absolutely. I'm imagining there are people who will be listening to this. Who no doubt say to themselves, I don't have a problem with alcohol at all. I just drink socially, then the control. I'm happy and and if they were honest, if they were told tomorrow, actually, you can't have a drink for the next year. It would be interesting what their natural reaction would be, as someone who has just told themselves that actually they don't have a problem with alcohol. And so I'm interested to hear your thoughts around that. I know you talk about the fear and the joy of choosing an alcohol free lifestyle. What what do you normally come across what what crops up as the sort of the main barriers for people when they initially think about the idea of life without alcohol.
Sarah Connelly
The first barrier is what you mentioned, which is I'm really not that bad. Mix. Well, we you know what we tell ourselves what our friends tell us. And it's the perfect excuse not to really look at your drinking, because it's everywhere and everybody's doing it. The issue is that if something has happened to me, like my father's death comes along, that your chances of slipping down that slope are a lot higher, if you're drinking quite a lot in that I'm not that bad category. So it's very hard for people to make a change. If things aren't really, really. We tend, we tend not to will when we get our blinkers on. So that's one of the barriers and that's why we talk about gray area drinking being, you know, if you're questioning your drinking on a regular basis, it is something that bothers you, and you give it mental airtime. You know, you're thinking well, I won't drink on a Monday, Tuesday, and then I might, and I'll have something on and the politic in this whole energy that we spend negotiating on when and where we can drink. If people have that going on, it generally means that alcohol is getting in the way of them living their best life. Because that's exhausting. It's an exhausting way to live. I did it for years. The the main other barriers are, as you've mentioned, friends, family, what to say to people how to communicate that you don't want to drink without saying I'm an alcoholic. And I've got a really big problem. Because that's not the case either. It's the communication piece. There's been excluded, there's fear of losing friendships, there's fear of losing relationships, there's fear of actually what's possible for me if I don't drink. And that's something that we talk about a lot in our groups because we coach high successful high performers. And there is a sense of, that's the one thing that keeps them from really getting where they want to go. And that's scary, too. You know, we've we're afraid of failure, but we're also afraid of success. And so that's an interesting one to look at, that we look at in the groups, what's possible for you without alcohol, you may not be rolling in the gutter, drinking two bottles of vodka a day, but what's possible without it and what they discover is an extraordinary host of benefits.
Mat Lock
And so when you're working with your clients, how do you hear those barriers to those same barriers that they go? How do you approach that? How do you help them to reframe the role that alcohol They send their life
Sarah Connelly
in many different ways, with so many different tools and techniques and ways to reframe thinking, also, a lot of somatic work is what I love is trying to get people into their bodies, will you spend so much time in our heads, you know, trying to make sense of things cognitively, when people can really, we teach people how to really get in touch with how they feel, that helps them with cravings, that helps them not be reactive, when things come up, if they can really start to know themselves in their signs of the body. system, somatic work is a big part of what, what I do, and working towards what they really want, as opposed to what they don't want. Traditionally, and historically, it's all been, you know, you can't drink and life is over. And you're just gonna have to grit your teeth and bear it because you're somebody that can't drink. You know, it's miserable, nobody wants that. So we look at the fact that for whatever reason, they've decided to give up alcohol as being a genuine gift, a gift, an opportunity for them to discover something new about themselves to and they have a new experience in life, with people that are on their level with people they can really connect with. And that's a big part too, is because we do group coaching, they're all come together and support one another and teach one another because they're all very smart people, but you know, varying degrees of success in very different fields. You know, we have human rights lawyers and ER doctors, like it's insane, like the alcohol affects everybody. So that piece too, is really important when they realize that they're not alone, because that's a really big part is you think it's just you. And you go into the spiral of my own here, and we can blah, blah, blah, or pick up a drink, make myself feel better?
Mat Lock
Well, suddenly, I'm very practical level, I guess, it's much easier to manage our environments that we have control over. So at home, for example, or at work or in the car, or whatever it is we're doing, but is socializing, because I imagine, especially for these high performance that you're talking about. There are, I'm sure expectations, I mean, pandemics aside, but expectations about social occasions that involve clients or co workers colleagues. And, and I say this as someone who's been plant based for nine, nine or 10 years now. So have nothing to do with alcohol, but I'm still somehow the black sheep of the family when I go out. And because I'm the odd one out still after this long, and I'm guessing it's a similar situation. When someone says, Well, actually, I it would be hard for me to say I'm pregnant, so I can't drink, I wouldn't be able to get that.
But that would that would raise some eyebrows,
create distraction technique. But I'm interested to hear how you coach your clients around how to handle those situations. And, and I shouldn't have to say I'm pregnant. I should, I'm assuming there's a much better way of handling the subject by being upfront, but without being confronting for them and without them feeling somehow almost attacked. Because while they are choosing alcohol, for example.
Sarah Connelly
Yeah, it's a great question. And the answer is different. As you say, it has to feel right for the individual. So we'll work on a line, you know, each individual will will create a line that they're really comfortable with, and we'll practice that with them and we do a bit of roleplay the main thing that we we coach them is to be confident because if you go into a situation and go Yeah, well you know, doing a 90 day alcohol free program, I probably shouldn't have drinks. Yes, you're sitting down because people are going to feel that you're having a bad time. So they'll come on come on that just have one you'll feel you'll be fine. And they trying to make you feel happy because they want to feel happy. So we also coach our clients to be proud and bold and confident and go into these occasions is I'm going to have the most fun with my soda water and lime I'm going to be the funnest person at the party I'm going to go and meet somebody new that I've never you know we we build them up to go into those situations with a sense of joy and adventure and curiosity as opposed to well I've just got to turn up and show my face and then I'll you know run out the door. Because what we want them to start associating socializing not with alcohol because if we Teach them to stay at home and we coach them to just be, you know, just hide, then they associate not drinking with not being fun. And what we're trying to do is to teach them that not drinking is actually more fun, and more exciting and more adventurous than sitting there pouring ethanol down your throat. So that's, that's how we, that's how we coach that piece.
Mat Lock
So that's great. Look, I'm conscious these days, and it's not about me. But as someone who enjoys sport a lot, I train a lot and did compete quite a lot. And again, in the future, I have to say, I have just found that I don't really drink anymore. If I didn't make a conscious decision one day, let's say it was just one of those natural, even because I drink so little. If I had one or two beers, I just fit a bit off in the morning. And that's when I train, I don't want to feel off, I want to feel tip top, I want to be absolutely on top of my game. And so I just naturally went through a phase where I just didn't really drink. But these days, it's much easier. And certainly here in Australia, this. I mean, there's lots of alternatives, alcohol free alternatives. And one I always spruik and I have no financial interest in them. But it's heaps normal. I mean, I like the XP a type is and I love the fact they call their fears. A quiet XP, I think it's genius. But and I know that they're going from strength to strength, and some of the mainstream players like Heineken and those, you know, they also now have alcohol free beers that are more than palatable, you know, then they used to be just crap, alcohol free drinks were just awful. And never really got any traction, but these days is some really good options. And I'm really keen to hear I know that you're a self called the sober simile, which is brilliant. I'm really keen to hear more about that. And where alcohol free drinks fit into this sort of this picture, from your perspective and for your clients.
Sarah Connelly
They came up for me, I was about three months into being alcohol free. And I was thinking surely there must be some adult drinks, because I was always going to going out and having to order water or Diet Coke or, you know, some kind of correct, right. Or even kombucha and things like that. And so I was really, I thought surely you know how the world works, there must be some genius somewhere that's made a decent alcohol free wine. And at the time, I researched and there was one tiny little store online in the Gold Coast that sold our coffee alternatives, very limited range. And they had a champagne. And I thought I'll give it a try because I was going away with some girlfriends to Noosa. And historically, we would have been cracking open the verb or you know, just going for it. And I would have,
because that's what we think. That's right. But I wanted to have something so that I felt I fit it in and so they felt comfortable. And anyway, that started a whole journey for me because I had the most incredible time up there. And it was such a relief for me to drink a glass of champagne and not actually have to downsize. I loved it. It was like this is so great, because I didn't actually like feeling drunk. I didn't like that feeling of losing control. So to me it was it ticked the box of I can still have fun and have a nice glass of something. But I don't have to deal with the downsides. And that, that really, yeah, absolutely for certain people. And so when it comes to this space, it's very, you know, there are 50 Shades of Grey and, or more. And everybody's so different and unique. There are stories that I've heard of people that I know that had not been drinking for a really long time and then tried and non alcohol tentative and just crave the real thing to tip them over the edge. So the rule of thumb is if you think it's going to don't do it I think people know I can my husband can happily drink anon out beer and then drink a real beer once you know once an agreement swaps them out as and when he feels like it. I just have no doubt but I've got friends who literally will not touch an alcohol free drink if it emulates in any way. The real thing because awareness today. Yeah, yeah.
Mat Lock
I think interesting with like your husband, for example. I think that's a testament to some of the alcohol free beers these days. They taste so good that actually, if unless you're deliberately looking for that, that buzz, you know, that feeling of getting drunk unless you're looking for that, if it's someone that for me, it was never that. I like the taste, it's cold, it's refreshing. And so for me the fact something like heaps normal in particular, brilliant, because it tastes like me, which I like to taste, but zero effects, I can ride my scooter down to the brewery and back again, brilliant. And then get a train and then feel great.
Sarah Connelly
It is it's brilliant for so many people, not just people that have any issue with alcohol, because it allows them to swap out. Many of my friends do knock out during the week, and then they'll have a couple of glasses of wine on the weekends. So it's reducing consumption. And it's a massively growing industry, like as you, as you know, you know, it's just day almost daily, I get notified of a new non outdrink that's coming to the market. And so it's
Mat Lock
not surprising. So personally, I'm keen to hear a little bit more about them conscious of time. But talk to me a little bit about the sober Somalia, what's that all about?
Sarah Connelly
So that's my Instagram account, which I started literally, probably just over a year ago now. And I just started posting about the non our drinks that I was discovering. And people liked to hear about them. So it started to build a bit of momentum. And to me, it was a really low key way of talking to people about not drinking alcohol because I didn't want to come out guns blazing, like, Oh, God was terrible. It was more. Yeah, exactly. It was more Look, here's some other things you can try that might help help you to cut back or help you if you're trying to quit. So yeah, it's evolved. And I'm not quite sure where it's headed to now there's so much noise now, you know, but it's been really helpful in growing awareness around alternatives and helping people to find other ways to get that feeling that we want when we drink, which is to feel relaxed and having fun.
Mat Lock
And like I know, basil, I think more advanced in the range of alcoholic drinks. And so by that I mean non alcoholic beers are more advanced in terms of flavor and, and popularity. I don't drink wine particularly. And I know there are some alcohol free gins, but you're probably the right person as the service. Many HSA. Actually there are some great or not wines and champagnes and spirits are starting to come on the market. I don't know where we're at, because I'm not in that space.
Sarah Connelly
There are Champagne is definitely the best options if you want something that tastes exactly the same. There's a couple of brands naughty is probably the number one in terms of emulating the real experience. Naughty Champagne is my favorite. As far as wines go, this struggle to get anything particularly in the reds, like the reds, pretty average, but they're getting better. And the whites and against them, which is really well known New Zealand's Marlboro wine pieces. Zero is My favorites are sad, blank. And to me, I can't tell the difference. So there's so many now spirits, you know, the botanical now botanical blends, some of them are very beautifully crafted and tastes very delicious and unique. Some of just flavored water. You've got to make sure you pick the right ones. But
Mat Lock
it's interesting. The I mean, it's heartwarming to hear that the markets, the industry is going in this direction because for sure they follow the money. And they can obviously see there's a growing a building trend of more and more people who are looking for alcohol free alternatives. And I think that's a testament to the younger generations as well. And I hope very much hope that we in the not too distant future get to a point where we either really do have self driving self driving cars, which is a way away, or in fact just zero alcohol. If you're driving I mean that to me would and I say that as an ex cop from the UK of 20 odd years or more ago actually. But it would make life so much easier. And would obviously discourage drunk driving in that whole gray area or should I shouldn't I am I anti? It just gets rid of the whole discussion. And at least by having decent alternatives in place, people want to go to the pub with a brewery and, and have, you know, a great social time enjoying some drinks, air quotes, without any risk of ill health. Driving Under the Influence, or all of the other things kind of go with it really look forward to that very much. But I'm sad to hear the red wines are still pretty average. Because if I was going to drink wine, it would be a red. And that's disappointing. But as well, we're pretty blessed to live where we do in Australia where there's some pretty awesome wines as well. So it would be hard pushed to get such a young range of products, the alcohol free reds, that would taste like the real thing that say that. But still pleased to hear the champagnes are winner. By now that'sdefinitely
Sarah Connelly
said be probably the two.
Mat Lock
Yeah, sure. So what look, I'm really conscious of your time, you've been very generous with your time. If anyone wants to find out more about what you do, and we haven't really talked about tapped in, let's do that we shouldn't not because that's really important that people want to reach out and be in touch with you and, and all the great work that you're doing. So talk to us a little bit about tapped in.
Sarah Connelly
Sure. Um, so tap team is a website that I created for people that were curious about giving up alcohol, at least for a period of time. And they can go into the website and explore different books that I recommend and courses is a bit of a directory in there of venues that serve alcohol free products, etc. And then there's my coaching side, which is where I do one on one coaching and also launching a 90 day alcohol free program in February for people that want to explore what life would be like without alcohol for 90 days. And that's formed off the basis of my work over in the states that the alcohol free lifestyle program.
Mat Lock
Fantastic. And so a prerequisite for that course would be I'm guessing nothing more than curiosity,
Sarah Connelly
curiosity and a willingness to stop drinking for 90 days.
Mat Lock
Yeah, look, it's interesting, isn't it? I mean, the fact if someone was listening to that 90 days in 90 days, if that felt almost too much, then that in itself is a reason I would argue to do the program. I know that in dry July, as some people call it. A friend of mine said, we were just chatting in July and halfway through July. Yes. And he said he said I haven't had a drink for 17 days. But that's cool. You're counting the days you're in the air. What does that tell you? That I couldn't tell you how many days I spent inside a drink? It's I don't. For me, it's to it's not a thing. I said, but but clearly you think well, oh, yeah, you know, but it was really telling for me that he was able to he was counting the days. So yeah, I assume that actually, in terms of always that for me, if the thought of not drinking for 90 days seems impossible, or even? Oh, I'd have to think about that. Then I guess do it? Because,
Sarah Connelly
yeah, good point.
Mat Lock
So what So what's your website? All of your contact is everything will be in the show notes.
Sarah Connelly
kapteyn.com. Au you. But yeah, you're absolutely right. And I think 30 days is a good start, you know, many people do 30 days, most of the people I work with have already done 30 days in the past and then they've you know, they've tried to and then they've gone back and you know, they get to a point where enough is enough and 90 days is a really good amount of time to see what your what your what you're made of, you know,
Mat Lock
and see how it feels. Yeah, that's one of the biggest best motivators I have found is certainly when I talk about if people want to talk about being plant based. I certainly don't preach about it. But if people are interested, I talk about and I go, honestly just try it for a month, you'll feel the difference. You just will. As long as you're eating as long as Yeah, it's a healthy plant based diet, then you'll feel amazing by comparison, and then you can decide for yourself, but you've got to give it a go if you're interested. So it's the same here I would suggest and I would assume life without without alcohol for someone who's regularly consuming alcohol. The contrast would be noticeable and therefore you do it. Because then you're getting a true sense of what life can be like, without
Sarah Connelly
absolutely can be quite life changing?
Mat Lock
Hmm, absolutely. Very good. So we're gonna, we're gonna, I think, draw a line into this for today. Um, is there anything else you'd like to add anything you'd like to share any sort of final final comments or thoughts.
Sarah Connelly
But I think that, um, you know, as we move forward in this alcohol free space, it's important really, for anyone that's listening that does fit any sense of shame around their consumption that alcohol is a toxic poison that is really, really hard to escape from in this society. So if anyone is feeling any shame around it, please don't because it's just a trap that we, many of us fall into. And we don't judge or shame anyone for for seeking help of any sort. So if it's not me, there's plenty of resources on my website or other places to seek help. Because life is too short, to be serving at a five out of 10.
Mat Lock
Perfect final thought to leave us with very good well, they have a huge thank you to Sarah for sharing so much today. And as I said, already, we'll put all of the links in our show notes so you can take a deep dive and reach out to her directly as well if you want to. In the meantime, if you're keen to get your hands on a copy of my book, lead by example, I'd love to send you a copy. If you just go to the impact project.io Take a trip down the rabbit hole and it'll be on your doorstep in no time. So thanks once again to Sarah. And as always Be brave, have fun and get busy make an impact in the world. See you.
