Mat Lock
Amy Valentine, welcome to The Unleashing Potential Podcast. It’s a pleasure to have you here. Thank you for having me. Now, whereabouts in the world are you at?
Amy Ballantyne
I am located near Toronto, Ontario in Canada.
Mat Lock
Awesome. So it’s midday here, which means it’s what we’re about what time of day have you got? It’s about 9pm here. Oh, well, we all appreciate you. Putting in the hard yards and being available at 9pm. Thank you for that. Now, Amy. Yeah, you describe yourself as being the health chief cheerleader, and you spend your life coaching women and helping them put together the pieces of their health, with less guilt and more self love. Very importantly. And I guess in particular, just to sort of what does that mean, in practical terms, we’re talking really about wellness and weight management coaching primarily.
Amy Ballantyne
Yeah, so a little bit about my story, I have always been active, I was a ballerina dancing, my, my whole life growing up. And I did lots of sports. On top of that, I’m a big fan of moving my body and went to university, I was a cheerleader in high school and in university, and that energy and enthusiasm is something that’s natural to me. So that’s kind of why I am branding myself in that way. Because I seem to be the person that even when I wasn’t a coach, people were coming to me and feeling that energy and support. And that’s probably the biggest thing that I offer to people is that well, so a little bit more about my life. Now, I have three kids who are very, very active, I’m still involved in a number of different things in my family, my husband, coaches University baseball here, on top of his job, our kids play rock sports. So it is a wild and wacky life right with running in all directions. But finding ways to to keep health as one of the top priorities is one of the things that I love to share.
Mat Lock
When you’re walking the walk, aren’t you, as you say you you’re leading a hectic busy life, like many people around the world who’ve got full time jobs and kids and everything going on. So you’re certainly walking the walk. And for those who were listening to this and not watching it on the YouTube channel, your energy, you’re just popping off the screen is awesome. Amongst the whole subject that you you help predominantly women, but the first subject that you and I wanted to talk about was all around self care routines. And as we talked about that can be equally applicable to males and females. But what I’d be really keen for you to share with our listeners is some of the common some of the common topics that cropped up around self care, even the notion of self care, and how you help your clients address those issues.
Amy Ballantyne
Yes, thank you. The first thing that I like to talk about when it comes to self care is understanding what that statement means to the person. Because it’s quite a buzzword now, right? self care, self love, even these are big words that we hear. And most of the time, when I’m talking with someone, the first thing that they tell me is a bubble bath. Right? That’s like for many women, that’s the thing that pops into their head right away. But I really important for all those people listening to really consider what does self care mean to you? Does it mean that you get five minutes just to go and be still and be quiet just for yourself, because you’ve got a whole lot of chaos. You know, lots of people right now the biggest thing that I’m hearing is this challenge that we’re facing in this time where for many people, their their work, life has shifted so dramatically. And for some people, their children are now in their house on essentially on top of them all day. They’ve got their job from home, down there trying to figure out their self, you know, activity and eating, all the pieces of the puzzle are all kind of in the home, which for some people could be a benefit, but for others, it’s causing a tremendous amount of stress. So self care, prior to COVID may have looked very different than what we’re looking at now. Right? So the conversation has shifted a little bit. But it’s some of these strategies like if the thing that came to you first when I asked you the listener, you know, what does self care mean to you and it was the bubble bath, then that’s the place to start. But if it’s that you are so sick of sitting at your desk on meetings, meeting after meeting after meeting on zoom, what is the thing that would fill your cup back up, that would actually help you to feel less pressure, less anxiety, less stress, less, perhaps discomfort, because you’ve been sitting in that chair for so long. And really taking a look for you what that would be. And then implementing a little smidge of that into your day tomorrow, you know, taking a real action on that. So if it’s that you’re sick and tired of sitting down at all the zoom meetings, is there a way to move your body in a way that you feel aligned in between the meeting or to schedule a five minute gap in between? You know, where you can get up? and do some jumping jacks? or do some burpees? Or do a yoga flow, right? Or maybe it’s that you just turn the computer right off for five minutes and you sit with your your eyes closed? And you just breathe?
Mat Lock
Simple breathing technique? Absolutely.
Amy Ballantyne
For sure. But it’s it’s looking at what does what does it feel like to you? for self care, and starting there, it doesn’t have to fit into some typical box of well, self care is this and this and this, it doesn’t have to be like that.
Mat Lock
And by self care, I mean, another way of describing that would just be you time. Yes. You time having taking time out for you and whatever that looks like let me funny when he said bubble bath. My I immediately started thinking about what time on mine be. And actually for me, it would be sticking in the air but and yeah, taking 10 minutes with headspace where it really can be just in the moment. But so rather than buzzing around with every device under the sun pinging and beeping and turning off the notifications, right. Yeah, actually funny say that I actually did, I dug into the settings on my phone about a week ago, and I’m still adjusting in a good way. But it’s weird. Because I go, Ah, there’s four or five messages, I didn’t see those, whereas previously would have been ding ding ding, ding, ding ding. I’m actually loving it. But I now have to consciously check my messages rather than Yeah, rather than relying on reacting to that little device. It’s nagging me. But it’s, I can only say I’m gonna have to say it was it was really quite noticeable.
Amy Ballantyne
Freeing yourself right like that. It’s like that concept of recognising that every time we hear that ding it’s the it’s almost like the tiger is coming after us. Right? The thing is the tiger rest. Okay. So if we can turn off those notifications even a little bit of time, we’re reducing the possibility that’s cortisol spiking up constantly, which impacts us tremendously.
Mat Lock
Yeah, in every aspect of our life, right? I mean, from from being awake to being asleep. It affects everything. So when when you’re trying to install or help your clients install self care routines? Um, how do you how do you go about that? Because let’s face it, pretty much everyone on the planet is busy like you and like your husband, busy, just busy with life. And I think it was Tony Robbins, who wants I’m going to maybe try and get this quote, right. But the spirit of it’s certainly accurate is where, you know, I don’t have time, I don’t have time to meditate for 10 minutes a day. And it’s like, well, if you don’t have 10 minutes, if you can’t find 10 minutes in the day, you don’t have a life. And that really resonated with me outright, isn’t it? I mean, 10 minutes, out of 24 hours, we can all do it. Otherwise, we’re just kidding ourselves, but everyone’s busy. So how do you help your clients overcome that mindset of, Oh, I’m too busy for self care or whatever the barriers may pop up in their minds at least.
Amy Ballantyne
Yeah, I like to dive in a little bit to helping them to uncover why why now is so important to take care of themselves. You know, there’s so many different analogies the put the mask on first on the airplane, your cup is empty all of these things but until someone can really understand for themselves what happens if you the human, whether you’re you have a spouse, you have children, you have co workers, what does it look like if you physically can’t do your life? What does that look like and helping them to actually you know, I’m not a fear kind of person, as you can tell IMO like let’s rise above kind of person, but, but it’s helpful, I think, to take a look at, you know, the reason why I want to take some moments for myself. And when I’m feeling like holy smokes, I need to take some moments for myself, is because I want to be present. for the long term. I want to be around for the long term, but right now, if I’m not feeling good, I’ve got to take some time for me. So it’s helping them to see that if they don’t take Take some time for them, what will it actually translate to in the long term? So can we take the steps now to baby step it because sometimes, especially moms, I feel like and maybe I’m generalizing, but the women that I work with are so often putting themselves last, it’s very hard to, to carve out that 10 minutes when their whole life is a juggle, and it’s chaos. And they feel very disconnected from themselves. I can relate to that for many years. And I would say, for those women, and even men who are feeling really disconnected, it’s just picking one thing and actually scheduling it into your calendar, Brendon Burchard talks about if it’s not in your calendar, it’s not a priority, if it’s not in there. So if I were to go look at your calendar, I’m pretty sure I’d be able to tell what are the things that you really value in your life because they would be slotted in and they would be clear, so this way, and maybe when you got new babies or, you know, you’ve got this giant project at work, perhaps it’s a little bit more difficult. But even still, there’s ways to use some of the time that we have in our life a little bit more effectively. So if it’s the only time you can carve out to listen to some positive content, you know, the world is filled with a bit of negativity right now. And we need to bring some of that energy back in. If if the only time you have to listen as while doing dishes, will then turn it on while you’re doing the dishes. Or if it’s the only time that is while you’re prepping dinner, then turn it on. Who cares if your children hear good content. Now, if you’re listening to something where there’s swear words, and that’s not something you want them to hear, then that’s different. But like, if you are listening to positive content, positive words that are gonna lift you and they maybe it will ask you questions, and then there’s this opportunity. And maybe they’re too and they’re like, what does that even mean? Well, who cares? It’s an opportunity for you to listen, and have cool conversations with your kids, you know, and you’re fitting it in fitting time in for you, while maybe you’re doing an activity that could allow for your your brain and the feeling of your heart and energy to to be lifted up.
Mat Lock
Absolutely. And actually, it’s funny, you mentioned the calendar, I actually when I I’ve been back in the habit of using headspace. 10, always 10 maybe 15 minutes a day. But I had to put it in my calendar. I it’s interesting, you say how you prioritize, you know, you can tell by looking at someone’s calendar, what they prioritise. And I deliberately put in the calendar so that because I look at my calendar regularly each day, and it just was that trigger reminded me and it sort of blocked that time. So as you used, you know, Calendly to for us to book this chat now. It’s too easy to allow everyone to have access and you know, Book Fair timing with you. You got to book your own time. And so that’s what I did, so that there’s no excuse that I can’t claim that I’m too busy or find any other myriad of excuses. And it’s funny, isn’t it? Because I’m an I really enjoy it. But I still can easily find some sort of reason why it didn’t happen, even though I can and are invaluable. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. So being being deliberate, I suppose. And if it means putting it in your calendar, then then do so I guess. But I’m lucky you bring in, you’ve just brought children into the story. And I think it’s important for the way that self care. It’s not only having an impact on us, but everyone in our sphere of influence everyone we come into contact with. And how do you broach that with your clients? How do you help them understand the positive benefits of self care not only for themselves, but for others as well?
Amy Ballantyne
Well, it’s, it often stems from the conversation of you know, them wanting to shift perhaps the frustration or the anger or the guilt that they’re feeling around being a parent or in that situation. So that call that conversation usually starts there with what they want to shift and it’s again, painting that picture of what does it look like when you’re not feeling overwhelmed? What does like life look like when you’re not feeling angry and having fights with your kids? What does life look like when you’re not feeling guilty and you can be fully present in that moment and then fully present in your work, and all is happy, right? All of these conversations are an important starting point. But then it’s looking at what are the action steps. Let’s just say a person who’s feeling really really overwhelmed between their children and their maybe their workouts and their job and their spouse and they’re just feeling really overwhelmed. It’s having them verbalize what it what they’re feeling and and visualizing what The life isn’t that they would like to have an asking them to come up with one, maybe two steps that they think are the starting points to make those shifts, because quite honestly, Matt, I can I can give you lists and lists of all the things that could work. But if it comes from the person, if it comes from that human, they’re far more likely to do it, if they came up with the idea, so that I start there, and that it’s creating that accountability around that action step. So that there is somebody either that’s going to hold them accountable, or they’re going to mesh message me, or is there some kind of tracking sheet on their fridge or, you know, all these different ideas to help people get into the habit? Because that’s part of the challenge.
Mat Lock
Yeah, absolutely. instilling that sense of ownership, I understand how powerful that were, of course, they know the shedule best they know, their, their environment best. They know what’s somehow manageable, rather than just because it can be overwhelming. So you could you could give them a list. What most people can listen to, oh, I got it. All right.
Amy Ballantyne
I learned the hard way, man. When I started out, I would make these giant, multiple page lists, and then people would do nothing. And I’m like, Oh,
Mat Lock
you were coming from a place of love and support and just completely overwhelming them. I couldn’t do all that I failed. No, hang on. Yes. It’s a huge problem. For sure. So it’s interesting. I appreciate that you switched your strategy. I’m assuming your list of available if people want them, but as a starting place. Yeah, just by bite sized, I guess.
Amy Ballantyne
Yes. Right. Size, it’s way better. Because then it’s not. They don’t think that. You know, it’s it’s a giant list on top of the giant list already. It’s one thing and if we can get them to have a success, right. It’s the same feeling that you have with all of your events. that’s helping people to have those successes and feel energized and feel connected. It’s that same concept. Have the success build on the success have any success built right?
Mat Lock
Yeah, it celebrate the mini wins, and it can souring. It’s empowering. Especially when you when you say I mean, it’s the same for all of us that once you realize something is is within your grasp, you have control of it. That in itself is empowering. And then when you take that step, you feel good. And you say you’re motivated then to take the next step, which is what it takes it one step at a time. Yeah, really? That’s exactly right. Now that’s and that’s very helpful. Very helpful. Indeed. Um, is there anything else around the whole subject of self care routines that you’d like to share? I mean, are there any takeaways or exercises that you share with your clients that maybe our audience could hear now? and think, Oh, yeah, I’ll give that a go. Yeah, one of the things that I would offer is the concept of meditation. And now, some people just like roll their eyes and say, Well, I can’t do that. It’s too hard. Like, and I can relate being a high energy person. I, for a long time, I was like, well, that’s not really for me. I’m up here, like holy smokes. But it has really helped me to have that grounding, to have that calming energy on the other side. So I would, I would say is, there’s many, many apps out there insight timer is an app that I have some meditations personally on there. So you can look me up there. There’s also you know, 1000s of different people leading meditations. That’s one of my favorite apps. If you happen to be awake in the middle of the night, and want to join me at 1pm, Eastern, on Monday or Friday, for those of you like meditation, yeah, cool.
Amy Ballantyne
I lead meditations online at those times where you can always access them anytime. So I have clients who are in there, and they’ll use them before bed, they’ll use them first thing in the morning. So they have, I’ve been recording them for the last seven months. So there are many meditations in there that people have access to. And I can drop the link for that as well. But something as simple as that, if that calls to you to reduce your stress to reduce your anxiety. It’s a practice and part of the reason why I love guided meditations for somebody like me, who’s like all over the place in busy and chaos, it’s a short window of time, you can look and see what the time commitment is. So if you want a shorter one or a longer one, that’s another good reason about insight. timer as well. You can choose the time, but you’re not stuck in that experience. If you’re new, you’re not stuck in it on your own. Someone is like walking your brain through what to do, because sometimes we think about meditation is like oh, well, I’ll never be able to turn off my mind. Right. But if you Have someone guiding you, as you’re getting practice, it can be easier. I think it’s easier.
Mat Lock
Guided Meditation rocks. And for anyone listening to this, who hasn’t tried meditation and did roll their eyes when Amy suggested that some more Honestly, I can only say give it a go. Because I’m an I, I was the ultimate skeptic before I tried meditation. And, and now I honestly I love it. And within, I recommend you start the little sort of breathing technique, which you don’t have to sit on the fourth floor cross legged, you don’t have to do any of that. I just sit in a chair. And if it’s quiet, also choose a quiet place. And within I literally think within three or four breaths, I’m on my way to that happy place of just being super relaxed. It’s just awesome. feel like it’s sinking into the chair? And yeah, it’s like it’s like anything, you know, when we train our muscles at the gym, the more you do it with meditation, the better yet, so yes, exactly. I think that’s great advice. For sure. We will put those links in the show notes now. I’m conscious of time. And if if people wanted to reach out and get in touch with you, how would they do that?
Amy Ballantyne
Awesome. So my website is there, Amy valentine.com. And there’s a link to book 30 minute chat with me for free if you’d like to connect and discover more about how I can be the the navigator the GPS for you as a coach, when you’re the driver in your life. Additionally, you can reach out to me on social media as well. It’s Amy Valentine on Instagram underscore Amy Valentine on Twitter, or I’m on Facebook, I have Amy Valentine dot official for my Facebook page. So I’d love to connect with any of you.
Mat Lock
Yeah, fantastic. And absolutely, we’ll put those in the show notes. And just to be clear, I mean, normally your your target clientele is who just so we’re super clear who would not, here’s the majority of your clients.
Amy Ballantyne
The majority of my clients are women between the age of 40 and about 55 or 60. And they have children who are a little bit older in that they are somewhat self self sufficient. And this woman is now realizing she’s got a smidge more time that she can actually put towards herself. So if she wants accountability around getting getting moving and doing some of you or kinds of events, or if she wants accountability to get back to feeling like Who the heck am I and and who do I want to go like who do I want to be going forward in my life or shifting in health, growing confidence, all of those components, reducing stress, those are all things that I can be supportive for.
Mat Lock
Fantastic. Well, I certainly appreciate your time. me. I know we’re gonna chat again. But thank you for your time on this episode. And I know that our audience are going to love hearing what you’ve shared with him. So thank you very much. Oh, it’s my pleasure. Thank you everyone.
